January 28, 2009
- The British are coming, the British are coming!: On Monday, February 2, Tony Blair, the former Prime Minister of Great Britain, will deliver the 2009 Fares Lecture in Gantcher Center. Blair is the latest in the long line of distinguished Fares Lecture speakers, a list that includes former US Presidents and Secretaries of State. The ELEPHANT
- Wintry wonderland: Snow fell on Tufts for most of Saturday night and Sunday morning last week, resulting in about eight inches of snow. Roads and pathways across campus went unplowed and unshoveled until Monday, forcing students to shuffle around like penguins.
- Who says academia is biased?: President Obama was inaugurated last Tuesday, to general acclaim and amazement. Professors all around Tufts interrupted their regularly scheduled classes to show the speech, while those few who dared to try and actually teach their subject could only find a few students who hadn’t skipped. The ELEPHANT
- If only I had a way to waste my Wednesday and Thursday nights: Through a combination of clever plotting by Bernie Madoff and negligence by Tufts investors, the university found itself the victim of Madoff’s massive Ponzi scheme, with a $20 million loss in its endowment. The ELEPHANT can only imagine how many more anti-bottled water campaigns and fair-trade Dewick nights the university could have funded with that money.
- Obama: taking away hope from embryos everywhere: The anniversary of the Roe v. Wade Supreme Court decision was observed this week by both pro-choice and pro-life groups. Tufts pro-life demonstrators placed colored flags on the academic quad to represent the thousands of fetuses aborted since the decision. Unfortunately, most Tufts students did not bother to read the sign explaining that, and instead assumed more construction was taking place, or possibly a new performance art exhibit.
- Broken New Year’s Resolutions: The Daily started the semester in familiar fashion, with a string of far left editorials and news pieces gushing about President Obama and oozing hatred for President Bush. Particularly obnoxious, the eye-roll inducing editorial “Farewell Mr. President,” was stuffed full of unoriginal satire and lacking any semblance of intelligent analysis. The ELEPHANT showing off his newfound mastery of Google, quickly found very similar Obama gaffes, including cnfusing a breathalyzer with an inhaler and overstating the damage of a Kansas tornado, in an attempt to criticize Bush, by the magnitude of 1,000 deaths. After having close to a month off to craft a couple of editorials yet producing such utter nonsense, the ELEPHANT is already dreading Daily editorials during midterm week.
- The ELEPHANT never forgets.
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